Vegas: A Eulogy

I’m still trying to decide whether it would be therapeutic or just plain sickening to write up a full Vegas trip report. So for now, I’ll just review the pictures. First up was the ever-present “stripper card” people. The #1 reason why I would never take kids to Vegas. Every corner, there’s someone slapping these cards in your face. Or, on the other corner, a Jesus freak trying to cure you of your sins.
Click below to read more.


Next, the toilet. We spent a good while losing at blackjack that first night, and the waitress just kept the drinks coming. My poor choice of drinks was “Adios”, as in “Adios MFer”, or “Adios money”, or “Adios stomach contents”. I couldn’t eat anything the next day, until 3 slices of pizza around 9pm.
Morning on the Strip was pretty well abandoned. We were on our way to a morning poker tournament, and it was the emptiest we saw it. I played very poorly, giving up a large chunk of my stack when I folded KQ suited to an all-in. He had me beat at the time, with A9 suited, but I definitely had the odds to call, but my mind was just blank, and I actually thought he had hit a set. In retrospect, he went all-in far too quickly to have made a set, and I should have seen that. If I had called, I would have paired my queen on the river and won the hand. As it was, I went out on the next hand with J10 suited. It was fun though, and much cheaper than the rest of my gambling.
Speaking of poker, I’m glad someone recognized the next fuzzy picture of Chris “Jesus” Ferguson. I should have gone up and talked to him, I’ve heard he’s actually a nice guy. He was actually standing in line with the masses at the Bellagio waiting to check in. And damn, that Bellagio is a nice freakin hotel. My favorites that we visited were the Venetian, Bellagio, and Mandalay Bay. Couldn’t afford to stay at any of them either.
My “loot” consisted of a free Aladdin mug, Harrah’s beads, and a whole lot of player’s cards. Oh, and a Harrah’s T shirt. Big winner, I was.
My sports book ticket, from New York New York, was a parlay bet on three games. A parlay bet requires all three to win to collect, but pays better than any single winner. Since the three games I was picking were all favorites, I decided to parlay them. As you now know, the only winner was the Nats, who are on quite a roll. The Yanks and Randy Johnson got hammered by the Sox, and the Cavs, in spite of playing for a playoff spot, are choking down the stretch and lost to the lowly Knicks.
The next morning, I managed to finish a croissant from Starbucks. There were two Starbucks just in our hotel, and one more just outside the door. Great location, eh? That next photo was the front of Harrah’s.
The biggest Super 8 in the world is the Ellis Island. We walked past there on our way to Hard Rock. It was further than we thought, should have waited for a cab.
Mr. Lucky’s is the 24 hour grill in Hard Rock. They have a “secret” steak and shrimp special for $7.77. It’s not on the menu, but the waiter didn’t flinch when we ordered it. Not bad either.
John finally came up with a winner by betting on the Baby Bulls. They crushed Orlando that night while we were gorging with my uncle at the Mandalay Bay buffet.
After Mandalay, we took a walk through the Luxor pyramid. Very cool. The rooms are actually along those walls facing in. The foot of the sphinx was looking back at Mandalay.
Our last day, we walked through Caesar’s Palace. I stopped for a moment to tie my shoe, and John threw $5 into a “Little Green Men” slot machine. He won over $100 on one single pull. My “big” win came on a “Men in Black” slot machine. The big win got me $22.
Back in the airport, I was sitting waiting for my flight to leave, when suddenly there was a mad dash to the Southwest line. I got up to check, and sure enough, our plane still wasn’t at the gate. But the sheep were getting in line already. I waited patiently, and got an aisle seat with no one next to me. The flight was barely half full. Morons.
On the drive back from the airport, I knew that the curling club was having their year-end party, so I stopped by for a couple of drinks. They were surprised to see anyone walking in at midnight, but of course, they were still there for another couple of hours, so it was a good welcome home.
All in all, Vegas was…. interesting. We made our contributions to the Las Vegas building fund (those billion dollar hotels and casinos don’t build themselves). We saw lots of pretty people, and Jesus. We got a few free drinks, we won a very little. And now I’ve got that out of my system.